Gran Canaria 2011 no fishing, Disappearing roads, delays, Pussy galore, spot the straight,mad waiters and Elvis is in the building

Started off Ok with a simple trip down through Chichester and up to Gatwick, which went pear shaped when the normal road I take was closed and we went off on a tour of Sussex, not too bad though arrived at Gatport Airwick in plenty of time, more than we bargained for as the flight was delayed for 2 hours and just to cheer nervous fliers like me up they told us it was due to an engine fault which they had now fixed and tested and it seemed Ok, now if we would like to get on board they would take this thing that seemed Ok and try to fly it 2000 odd miles into the sky, eventually arrived in Gran Canaria about 4.30am having had a grand total of about 9 hours sleep in 3 days, the plan of deliberate sleep deprivation so I could sleep on the flight over backfired badly, wandered down to the pool about midday noticing there were a few all female groups sat around the bar seemed a bit odd as a lot of them had tattoos disappearing into every orifice available but still being half asleep didn't take too much notice until 4 distinctly dodgy looking guys appeared at the bar, immaculately turned out and slightly effeminate, on getting back to the bungalow I picked up the free newspaper and opened it to find it was gay pride week in Maspalomas, now it was time to play spot the straight!! not too hard as some of the guys in the hotel made Julian Clary look like Vinnie Jones, the young girl and her boyfriend who arrived with us went down to a local bar and he was apparently approached about a dozen times before she rescued him, he kept very quiet and kept his back to the wall, woke up next morning to find about 6 cats sat on the patio waiting to be fed, the wife being mad about cats bought a box of cat biscuits from the local supermarket and word got round the cat population, next day we had 11 of them round us, local loonie was Manolo the waiter who took great delight in playing to the holiday crowds as well as serving drinks at about 100mph and generally doing his best to disrupt anything that the resort offered by way of entertainment such as speeding up and slowing down the music when the disco was on, dressing up, and dancing round tables with trays of drinks over his head, entertainment in the evenings was the standard affair of singers magicians etc. whilst throwing down vast quantities of spanish lager and huge measures of bacardi, thursday night they announced Elvis was in the building by way of an Elvis impersonator, he done a show of about an hour or so but the biggest cheer of the night went to (who else) Manolo when he took the mike in the interval to miming to songs from Grease, don't think Elvis was too impressed and probably wished Manolo would leave the building, worst part of the holiday was the departure time as we vacated the room at midday and pick up time was 2305, another long day with no sleep took off from Las Palmas at 02.00am back to Gatwick at 6.00am pick up the car and a 2 hour drive home then crash out, would I do it again next year? yep but not in gay pride week and with different flight times and preferably from Bournemouth

Wow what a holiday, there must have been times when you thought you were back in the RN, plenty of booze and buggery although I notice you forgot the baccy.

never was in the mob Mike, plenty of cheapo ciggies and booze around the place though, makes you realise how much our government makes on duty

Sorry Pete, I thought the Pompey was a bit of a giveaway. I am no good at pub quizzes either. Do the moderators know that there are two members of the forum who are not ex mob?

Nah the Pompey bit is because I was a season ticket holder at fratton for years, still follow the results but don't go down there anymore, too expensive and too busy

sounds like a flintstone holiday,gay old time..still good to recharge the old batteries and im sure plenty of that was going on.

I went there in October, not that resort though. We didn't realise it had a reputation for gayers until we booked it so had a bit of mick taking.

We went to Port Megan about 20 miles west of where you went. Not a gayer in sight where we went, a bit quiet but OK.

Some big mullet in the harbour. We went on a boat trip whilst there but the tide was ripping through and it was crap to say the least.

We hired motorbikes and found some good rock marks for fishing if I ever go back there.

Like you said Pete about the cheap cigs, the holiday pays for itself if you bring a few back.

want to go back next year...........just at a slightly different time

Great read Pete, but what ridiculous flight times. Reminds me of flying into Malta with my wife. We'd booked into what I remembered was a quiet part of the island. In the few years since I'd been there the area had turned into rave city. Got there at 3am and the party was in full swing! Needless to say, the next day we asked to be moved. Shame about the gay pride convention, but at least the wife won't be worried about you straying!

Like it Pete!!...gay pride...no problem ...got to be better than Tenerife.....won't beheading there soon....... ........

Record Eater wrote:Like it Pete!!...gay pride...no problem ...got to be better than Tenerife.....won't beheading there soon....... ........

it don,t take long b 4 they come out .glad you had good break mate and that you,re ready for some serious fishing

Glad you and yer "good lady" had a nice time.

Just one thing puzzles me.....?

You say you didn't know it was "Munch it or Bum it, if it's got the same sort of bits as you week."
There are 52 weeks in a year and you just happened to go the same week.
With hundreds of holiday destinations to choose from you just happened to go to Gran Canaria where it just happened to be "Gob-a-Job" week.
You live a stones throw from Bournemouth airport and Southampton is only 20 odd mins away........both doing flights all over the world, but you drive 2 + hours to Gatwick 'cos according to you it's the only place you could get a flight from...! Are you sure it's not because you didn't want to bump into someone local with all your pink bondage gear on and your feather tiara.....?


"DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GAY-PRIDE WEEK."................Who are you trying to KID.......!

oldage wrote:Glad you and yer "good lady" had a nice time.

Just one thing puzzles me.....?

You say you didn't know it was "Munch it or Bum it, if it's got the same sort of bits as you week."
There are 52 weeks in a year and you just happened to go the same week.
With hundreds of holiday destinations to choose from you just happened to go to Gran Canaria where it just happened to be "Gob-a-Job" week.
You live a stones throw from Bournemouth airport and Southampton is only 20 odd mins away........both doing flights all over the world, but you drive 2 + hours to Gatwick 'cos according to you it's the only place you could get a flight from...! Are you sure it's not because you didn't want to bump into someone local with all your pink bondage gear on and your feather tiara.....?


"DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GAY-PRIDE WEEK."................Who are you trying to KID.......!

definitely confirms the old saying..............................those who shout the loudest have the most to hide at least I found my way back each night to the right place and didn't try to assault someone innocent in their beach buddy

That's another story..

oldage wrote:That's another story..

and one you haven't put on the forum yet